Wasting my time in the waiting line

After 25 blissful years together, sleep and I have parted ways. It was not a cordial parting; we are no longer on speaking terms, sleep and I. Until recently, I required and easily got 8-9 hours of sleep every night. Now I average around 4 hours and am pleased to get 6. This has resulted in my being in a constant zombie state, not tired but never fully awake.

Before, I would go to sleep somewhere between 10 and 11 o'clock and wake up at 7. To give you a feel for how much this has changed, let's take a look at last Sunday night's sleep schedule:
9:45 - Fell asleep watching CSI.
10:30 - Woke up. Watched more CSI.
11:30-1:00 - Slept.
1:00-2:30 - Laid awake in bed.
2:30-4:00 - Decided to make the most of the situation and called a friend back home.
4:00-5:00 - Still not tired, called my brother.
5:00-6:00 - Watched it slowly grow lighter.
6:00-7:00 - Slept fitfully.
7:00 - Got up and got ready for school.

I had never noticed it before, but without sleep, the passage of time stops. Sleep divides yesterday from today from tomorrow; without it, the week is one endless day. Nothing moves forward.

I'm waiting for things in my life to fall into place, but until they do, I'm stuck. No sleep, no passage of time, no moving forward. Unfortunately I have no control over the situation; I'm waiting for other people to hand down the decisions that affect my future. Let me tell you what it's like to wait for a French person to decide where your future lies. I believe Sartre put it best when he said, "L'enfer, c'est les autres."

And now it's 3am on Friday and I'm awake, not because I've been out, but because I can't sleep. Once my episode of the Office finishes downloading I'll watch that and then maybe read some more. With any luck I'll be asleep by 5 or 6, but at least I don't have to get up at 7. I can sleep for a few hours in the morning and then get up an continue with my endless day.