Japanese friends

I have never professed to having very good social skills, but I am still surprised that I have managed to live in this country for 2.5 years without making a single Japanese friend my age. This is not completely my fault. For one thing, they are hard to find. Everyone I see walking around my city is either in a school uniform (meaning they're under the age of 18) or quite obviously over the age of 35. Where everyone goes between the ages of 18 and about 30, I have yet to find out. I assume I'll come across a colony of them producing Hello Kitty goods in a forest someday.

My foreign friends and I have often bemoaned the lack of Japanese people our age. Then, when one is spotted, we concoct schemes to ensnare them to obtain a Japanese friend of our very own. Once, an Australian friend of mine informed me that he had spotted a young, nice Japanese man working at a cafe near his house. "I have a plan," my Australian friend informed me. "I'm going to make him my friend. First, I'm going to become a regular at this cafe, where I will converse on a regular basis with this guy. Then, I will invite him to one of my barbecues. Then we will start hanging out, and eventually I will invite him to my house." Still no word on how that's working out for him.

In Japan, the school year starts in April. Teachers change schools every few years, so at the beginning of the year there are usually a few new faces in the teachers' room. When I came back to my desk after spring break, there was a new, young, female teacher sitting at the desk next to mine. I acted casual, but I couldn't believe my luck. Here was an actual 25-year-old Japanese woman. I had seen them in pictures and on the news before, but it was my first real encounter with one.

Lucky for me, it was she who seemed interested in me. It took her 3 days to work up the courage to speak to me. It was fun to watch her do it as well; she would peek over at my desk, start to open her mouth, and then stop. Sure, I could have spoken to her, but I was doing an informal experiment to see how long it would take her to work up the courage to speak to me. Finally, on the third day, she introduced herself. As it turned out, she already knew my name, age, and where I was from, so there was no need for me to do much talking.

We've spoken a few times since then, and now I'm trying to figure out how to take out relationship to the next level. That's right, I want to make her my friend. I feel like a nervous teenage boy who wants to ask a girl out on a date for the first time. I want to show her that I'm interested without scaring her away. If I wait too long to act, she might think I don't like her, but if I act too quickly I'll seem desperate and weird. Trying to walk that delicate line, our interactions go something like this:

Hosokawa-sensei: (Glancing at papers spread across my desk, looks over at me and offers a timid smile.)

Me: (Returning timid smile) So... ummm... do you live around here?

Hosokawa-sensei: Yeah, right next to school. I walk here. And you?

Me: Oh, I live in the next town over.

Hosokawa-sensei: Oh, really? How do you come to school?

Me: Usually I drive, but if the weather's nice I can bike it.

Hosokawa-sensei: Oh that's great! How long does it take?

Me: Oh, about 20 minutes.

Hosokawa-sensei: (Awkward smile.)

Me: (Awkward smile.) So um, I should probably get back to making these name tags now. I'll talk to you later.

Just riveting. She'll be mine in no time.