Life in a Bubble

I enjoy silence. In general, I find people who talk a lot and noisy situations tiring. I need a lot of time alone to recharge. Over the past 3 years in Japan, I've realized that this is one of the reasons I enjoy living abroad so much--it is incredibly easy to just tune everything out and live in your head. It's like having the ability to put the world on mute, and project onto people what you want them to be saying, thinking, and feeling, instead of what they actually are. I've found I have a much more positive view of humanity this way.

When I first came to Japan, I didn't understand Japanese, so even if I wanted to listen to people's conversations, I couldn't. For their part, seeing that I was white, most people assumed that I wouldn't understand them and didn't bother me by engaging in conversation. The talking going on around me was just background noise. Now of course I can understand more, but not so much that I can't willfully tune everything out.

anytime I go back home, I am jarred by all the talking going on around me. It happens as soon as I reach the departure gate for a US-bound flight. All the polite, quiet Japanese people are rudely and suddenly replaced by loud, chatty Americans who will share every detail of their life with a stranger. This being Japan, I usual have to deal with not just regular loud Americans, but rather loud military Americans. The last time I was waiting for a flight home, I was treated to conversations about such things as cheating on wives and the difficulty of picking up a Japanese chick. I remembered why I enjoyed the non-understanding silence of Japan; it allowed me to assume the best of people.

The silence can get to me though. Sometimes, when I go days without meaningful interaction with my co-workers, I begin to feel like I don't exist. I'm like a ghost moving through the world of the living. I can see, touch and hear them, but my presence goes unnoticed.