Lies, all lies

Each workday begins with the morning meeting. I usually take advantage of this 2-5 minute period to stare blankly at the wall; I consider it a warm-up for the day ahead. Last week, my practiced wall staring was broken when an interesting phrase was mentioned in the meeting.

"...rei no mondai..."

Loosely translated, "rei no mondai" means "the unmentionable problem." I immediately perked up. This sounded juicy.

"So we had a PTA meeting last night to explain the unmentionable problem to the parents, and we'll have an assembly today to explain things to the students," the vice principal announced.

I wasn't able to glean any further information about what the problem was, being unmentionable and all. So after the meeting was over, I asked my supervisor what all the fuss was about.

"The sprinklers in the gym aren't working. We asked the Board of Education for money to fix them, but they didn't respond, so we assumed they were sending the money soon. When the fire department asked if we had fixed the sprinklers, we told them we had, since we thought the money was coming soon. The newspaper found out about it and published an article that was very critical of the school. But they didn't mention that we had asked for money from the Board of Education." Ironically enough, they were planning on gathering the students in the gym to explain to them that if there were a fire in the gym they would all die, but that this was not the school’s fault.

---------

Before we progress any further, I’d like to back up and explain something about Japan, and my school in particular. They are extremely by the book. If a teacher goes on vacation, he has to tell the principal and vice principal exactly where he will be and when. No one sneaks out of school early or without taking vacation (myself excluded, of course). When it comes to the relationship between the teachers and the administrators, the name of the game is full-disclosure. This does not extend, however, to the relationship between, say, the school and the fire department. Why tell someone the truth when it actually matters, when lives are at stake?

To recap, here is a list of things that are allowed and things that are forbidden at my school:
Having dyed hair (as a student): forbidden
Smelling “sweet”: forbidden
Failing to tell the foreigner what to do in the event of an emergency: allowed
Painting one’s nails: forbidden
Not telling the principal where you’re going for vacation: forbidden
Lying to the fire department about the sprinklers: allowed
Having pierced ears: forbidden

Sleeping at one’s desk: allowed