Le Best-of

Over the past few months, I've been giving out awards in my head. I've lived for a significant amount of time in three different countries, and am always asked to compare them. While it's impossible to say which one is the best overall (they are all their own versions of hell), they each have their strengths and weaknesses. So in my head, I've begun judging them in different categories. Here is the first installment of "le best-of" for France, Japan, and the US. Prizes were also given for second and third place, with explanations where possible.

Category: Best grocery stores

First place: The US. Hands down. It wasn't even a competition. At an American grocery store, you can choose from a massive selection of products at any time of the day or night. Waiting at the cashier is minimal considering the number of customers at the average grocery store. And did I mention the fact that you don't have to bag your own groceries? I know it makes me sound lazy, but I really like having my groceries bagged for me.
Second place: Japan. Competition for second was fierce, owing to the fact that both Japanese and French grocery stores suck. But in the end, the Japanese edged out the French, mostly due to the fact that Japanese grocery stores are open on Sundays and later than 8 on weekdays. They also sell cute toys sometimes, which further helped them to edge out France. Japanese grocery stores are great if you're into making Japanese food. Otherwise they can be a bit lacking. Also, they are known to sell out of major foods, like onions.
Third place: France. France needs some serious work in this area. Though the cheese, yogurt, chocolate, and wine aisles at any French grocery store are a sight to behold, this is not enough to make up for the fact that you can't buy food on Sunday, or that at peak times there are usually just two cashiers open, creating lines that snake around the store, making it impossible to maneuver while shopping.

Category: Best-dressed

First place: France. Originally I was going to make first place a tie between France and Japan, but then I remembered some of the fashion disasters I saw in the land of the rising sun, and decided to give it to France.
Second place: Japan. Japan could be a strong contender for first if its populace did not feel the need to staple dead animals to the collars of its coats, wear skirts so short I could see, well, everything, or put pink hearts on everything.
Third place: The US. The US doesn't have any business being in this category. I can't think of a single first-world country I've been to where the people were dressed worse than they are in the US. Of course, we're talking about the general populace here, since there are individuals in the US who dress quite well. But as a whole, they have a lot to learn.

Category: Best showers

First place: The US. Hands down. American showers are, for the most part, enclosed spaces where one can bathe without fear of flooding the entire bathroom. The water is pressurized, and usually warm. Someone weighing more than 150 pounds could fit in an American shower.
Second place: Japan. The Japanese don't take showers in the same manner as Americans; they shower as a prelude to a bath. Still, the spaces that are set up for such "showering" can handle getting wet and are generally large enough for a normal human being.
Third place: France. You know how sometimes on a sink, there will be a spray hose you can use to clean dishes? In France, this device is also referred to as a "shower," only instead of being attached to a sink, it's attached to a bathtub. What stands between the "shower" and the rest of the bathroom? Nothing. So, while showering, you have to contain the spray to as small an area as possible, preferably the bath tub. For me, that is a nearly impossible feat. I happen to be lucky enough to have a real, enclosed shower. It is barely large enough for me to fit inside (and believe me, I'm not that big), but I can't turn around once in.

Category: Best customer service

First place: Japan. Japan ruined me for life in terms of customer service. People in the service industry always behaved professionally. People may have tightened up when they saw my white face approach them, but once they realized I sort-of spoke their language, they were more than willing to help. I may have felt discriminated against because I was white, but I never I was discriminated against because of my sex or age. Service in restaurants is especially good. All you have to do is press a button and your server is there. The check is always ready, placed in a special container on the table. You can stay as long as you want, but you never have to wait around if you want to leave.
Second place: The US. I actually had to think about who would get second place between the US and France, which is saying something. I always get the impression that people working in the service industry hate their jobs. I can't say that I blame them, I've had to deal with American customers before, and that's enough to make anyone hate life.
Third place: France. No surprises there, really. Ever tried to eat in a French restaurant? It's nearly impossible. Not only is service usually slow, people generally know very little about their chosen field. The man who helped me at France Telecom was unable to open a phone line. I once asked for an international stamp at the post office, and the woman didn't know if they sold international stamps or not.

Category: Worst weather

First place: Japan. One morning, I left for work. My school was a few blocks away, so it usually took me about 7 minutes to get there on my bike. When I left the door, it was sunny. Two minutes in, a few dark clouds appeared. Somewhere around the fifth minute, there was lightning and hail. By the time I reached my school, it was snowing. Unfortunately, I'm not exaggerating. In Japan, I had to invent new words for the kind of weather I experienced: thunder snow (ok, that one was already around, but I had never used it before), death hail, death sleet, death heat wind... My naming system probably could have been a little more creative, but "death" was usually the best word to describe the weather.
Second place: France. Wind and rain, everyday.
Third place: The US. When I got off the plane a couple of days ago, it was 75 and sunny. In December.

There's more to come. To be handed out in later posts include the awards for best postal system and best trains. If you can think of any categories you'd like to see addressed, feel free to post them here.